Hey there, friend! Let’s have a little heart-to-heart about something we all experience but rarely talk about: failure. We live in a world that celebrates success like it’s the only thing that matters, yet we often forget that behind every great achievement lies a mountain of mistakes, missteps, and, yes, failures. So, let’s dive into why embracing failure is not just important—it’s essential for learning and mastery.

The Odd Expectation of Greatness

Have you ever thought about how odd it is to expect greatness without any sacrifice, missteps, or failures? It’s like trying to perfect a recipe without ever making it too salty or too bland. Our society tends to idolize those who reach the top, but rarely do we hear about the messy process it took to get there. Behind every success story, there are countless failures, each one a stepping stone that leads to mastery.

The Psychology of Failure in Learning

Here’s where things get interesting. Psychological research shows that failure isn’t just a setback; it’s actually a crucial part of the learning process. Carol Dweck’s research on mindsets reveals how our beliefs about abilities shape our responses to challenges. In a fixed mindset, failure is seen as a limitation, while a growth mindset embraces challenges and views failure as a learning opportunity, fostering resilience and long-term success (Dweck, 2006).

Research also shows that failure is vital for adapting and improving. Metcalfe (2017) found that learners who engage in trial and error, learning from mistakes and adjusting their approach, are better able to adapt to new challenges. By grappling with errors, they develop more flexible problem-solving skills and become more resilient in the face of change.

Moreover, Angela Duckworth’s research on grit—a combination of passion and perseverance—emphasizes that sticking with long-term goals despite setbacks is crucial for success. Gritty individuals are more likely to embrace failure as part of the journey, using it as motivation to keep going rather than a reason to quit (Duckworth research).

When we fail, our brains are hard at work, processing what went wrong and figuring out how to improve. This ability to learn from mistakes and keep pushing forward is a true human superpower. It’s what allows us to grow, adapt, and overcome challenges—making failure an essential part of the path to mastery and success.

Navigating the Politics Around Failure

Let’s get real for a sec: in many settings—work, school, even with friends—failure can feel like a dirty word. But it shouldn’t be! We all talk about pushing boundaries, but the moment someone stumbles, they’re criticized instead of celebrated for trying something new. You can’t have one without the other. Pushing boundaries means you’ll hit limits, make mistakes, and occasionally fail hard.

I learned this before GPS existed, whenever I had to find my way around a new city. I called it my “wrong turn on purpose” mentality—I’d make peace with getting a bit lost because every wrong turn was a chance to see something new and learn a different route. Every mistake, every detour taught me just as much as any success, if not more.

So, here’s my advice: boldly allow yourself failure, and model it for others, because that’s how this mindset spreads through an organization—it has to be normalized. When leaders share their own mistakes and lessons, it gives everyone permission to learn, explore, and grow. Mistakes aren’t setbacks; they’re insights. Get comfortable with them, or you risk getting stuck in safe territory and missing out on real growth.

Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset

So, what’s your mindset like? If you tend to beat yourself up after a mistake, you might reflect on what a fixed mindset looks like. People with a growth mindset see failures as opportunities to learn. Think about someone you look up to. Chances are, they’ve messed up plenty of times before finally succeeding. You know that quote: “The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried,” from Stephen McCranie, author of Space Boy Volume 1?

That quote really hits home because it reminds us that mastery can’t happen without failure, and lots of it. It’s about learning from each failure, growing, and getting better. Take a sec to think about your own failures. How have they helped you grow? What lessons have you learned? Sometimes, just shifting how we see things can make all the difference. You’ve got this!

The problem with failure arises when we don’t take the time to reflect and learn from it. If we ignore the lessons that failure offers, we miss the whole point. It’s about taking those lessons and using them to grow stronger, not just repeating the same mistake over and over.

Why You Should Aim to Fail at Everything Once

Here’s a fun challenge: aim to fail at something new at least once. Whether it’s trying your hand at painting, signing up for a dance class, or attempting to cook a fancy dish, give it your all! Even if you flop, you’ll gain experience, build resilience, and maybe even discover a hidden talent—or a clear sign that you should stick to takeout!

But here’s an important step: share what you learn from your failures with others. By openly talking about what went wrong, you’re adding real value to other people’s journeys. You’re helping them avoid the same pitfalls or see their own setbacks in a new light. Plus, sharing builds relationships and fosters a culture of learning and openness, where everyone feels safe to take risks and grow.

The beauty of failure is that it teaches you more than success ever could. Each stumble is a lesson that nudges you closer to mastery—and when you share those lessons, you’re lifting everyone up along the way.

Conclusion

Embracing failure is not just a part of life; it’s a vital step on the road to success. Remember, every great achievement is built on a foundation of lessons learned through failure. Let’s change the narrative and start celebrating our missteps as much as our victories.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences with failure. What have you learned? Share your stories with me—let’s embrace this journey together!